If only.

Everyone actually knew what was going on.

When my NC called me about a week before Christmas, she told me that my IM should be starting her cycle around Christmas and thats when I start lupron. WELL, I talked to my IM a few days later and she was suppose to start around New Years, not Christmas. Either way, after two back to back cycles on high dose stim meds, her cycle is more than likely going to be late.

Fine by me.

We are cycling again with February's period. So, when January's comes, I will start lupron and she will start whatever it is that she does. Then when Feb comes, she will start stims and I will, once again, welcome the big needles with my behind.

Thats all. Kthankbi.

You will know what I know.

And all I know is BCPs suck and I should be starting lupron around Christmas. Lucky for my family huh?

Its been a while.

So here's a little update.

The day after Thanksgiving, I finally gave myself the shot of progesterone. A week later, BAM!!!! AF, full force. Man, oh man. I emailed my NC and she told me to go in for my baseline blood and ultrasound on Tuesday. I did, everything is fine and I am ready to start BCPs. I'm sure I will start lupron sometime this month... The rest of the action will start next month when my IM gets AF.

Procrastinator!!

I still haven't done it. I know... I know...

Progesterone shot.

I am procrastinating. I need to take it and get on with this already. But. I. Can't. I keep saying "tomorrow, tomorrow" Geez. Tomorrow, for real. Promise.

Clinics annoy me.

Our cycle was officially canceled October 29th, my NC prescribed aygestin (a low dose progesterone) so AF would come. After being pumped full of all the fake stuff (including tons of estrogen) it takes a kick to get things back to normal. Anyway, I didn't get down to the pharmacy to pick it up until the 6th (last Friday) and the copay was $60 bucks. Um, no. I decided to find out if this is something that was needed, since we aren't starting again until January, there is no hurry. Everyone else I know just had to take a shot of progesterone (something that I already have on hand), so I wanted to see if that was a possibility for me. Not only would that be cheaper, its also a one time thing, where as the aygestin if for ten days, twice a day (if I remember correctly).

Anyway, my NC said she wanted me to go in for an u/s since I hadn't started my period yet. Um, no. Why waste 350 bucks on an u/s before giving the progesterone a shot? She is quick to spend peoples money. Its annoying. I am going to talk to my agency owner first (she was an OB RN and IVF NC before starting an agency)... Blah.

Thats all thats going on now.

Well, that sucks.

Which would you like first? The good news? Or the bad news?

Okay, good news it is! There isn't a polyp. Which really is good. If there had been a polyp, the cycle would have been canceled and I would had to have it removed. And that could of set us back a few cycles.

Bad news, there is fluid in my uterus lining that is not suppose to be there. Why its there, no one knows... but we do know that we can't transfer with it there. So, cycle is canceled anyway! Don't you love that? I didn't think to pray for anything else besides the polyp to not be there.

So, now I am stopping all meds and we will start over (again) in January. The clinics are closed for a couple weeks during Christmas, so we can't make it before then. Oh well.

Surrogacy is pricey.

And since there is nothing we can do about that.... I am going in for an u/s tomorrow. My IM wants me to have the "wanna be polyp" checked out so we can cancel if we need to cancel. Everyday we are both on meds, the more money it costs... which sucks a lot if we are just going to cancel. I have been praying that the doc was having some vision problems yesterday and that there is NOTHING there that isn't suppose to be there. Can I get an "AMEN"??

Anyway, the appointment is at 10:15am tomorrow. My sweet friend Erica (who is also a DOULA) is coming to sit with my kids while I run in for an ultrasound. Why does that matter? I don't know... but she is an awesome Doula, so if you are pregnant or planning to be, call her. :) Oh, living in California would probably be a plus.

Back to the point... I DON'T WANT A POLYP.

NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!!
NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!!
NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!! NO POLYP!!

It's always something.

I don't know if you remember last time or not... but we (we meaning I) had some estrogen issues. They started me out on .30 and my lining got very thick and my blood levels got too high! This time they started me out at .25 and guess what? My lining was too thin and my blood levels too low. Now, I have to take .30 and have everything re-checked on Friday. Its always something.

My IM is stimming just fine, though the NC doesn't think she will make retrieval on Friday, which means I wont transfer on Monday. Regardless of what she says, you just never know. I think I will wait to hear about tomorrow's progress before I move babysitters back a day.

Anyway, thats all from me, for now. :)

Oh, I almost forgot. The RE here *thought* he saw something that resembled a polyp. We are praying that away! The NC wants them to take a closer look on Friday.

1 down, ?? to go.

Delestrogen shots twice a week on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Progesterone shots start when my IM has her ER, then I will have a shot of progesterone everyday. I can't believe its to close!! WooHoo!

Movin' right along...

IM started her cycle, so I start meds tomorrow. Our NC (nurse coordinator) thinks transfer will be the 2nd or 3rd. Either way, I think my husband will get to go with me... so thats exciting. I like him.

These next two weeks will FLY by, but then the two weeks after transfer, while we are waiting to take the blood test to see if I am pregnant, will creep by. Funny how that works.

Appointments, appointments!

Blood work and ultrasound today to make sure I am suppressed. Then sometime this week... DELESTROGEN!!! Funny how excited I am to stick a 22 gauge 1.5 inch needle in my butt!!

La-la-lala

Still hanging out on lupron. AKA the migraine train. If all goes according to plan, I should be starting estradiol and all that other stuff next week!

On a side note... regarding surrogacy in general, not my journey...

WHY would someone transfer THREE HATCHING BLASTS, when they have no intention of carrying more than two babies? WHY? For those of you that don't know, hatching blasts have a higher success rate of implantation than a normal blast or any other embryo. To me its like saying you have no problem killing off that third one if it sticks. The general rule of thumb is "don't transfer more than you are willing to carry" because you just never know what will stick around. There are times that embryos split, so thats a different situation... but if you are only willing to carry two, ONLY TRANSFER TWO. Geez, it just makes me sick.

Are you my friend?

Then VOTE FOR ME. Between my online friends and my "real life" friends, I should have this in the bag!!

I entered a contest to attend a VIP Disney Media Event thingy. I had to submit a picture, then if my picture got chosen (which it did) I would need people, MY FRIENDS, to vote. THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN. :)

All you have to do is become a fan of The Glamorous Life Association on Facebook and comment on my picture. Entry #1... it looks like this:

And thats it!! If you want to "un-friend" them after, fine by me. You can also "hide" them in your feed if you don't want to see their posts. Its not like they are going to spam you.

I love Disney and this event happens just about a week before my anniversary... so I would really like to go! I am begging, groveling, etc. Become a fan and vote for me. :))))

Ha! Don't you love how you never know?

False alarm! Ovulation should still be tomorrow! Oh well. :)))

Latest and greatest.

My IM thinks she may have surged yesterday... I am still waiting to hear if she did for sure. If she did, we should be bumped up a couple days. They weren't expecting her to surge until Thursday.

I would love it if transfer is Monday, November 2nd. That way the husband could go with me, we could drive down Sunday, drive home late Monday and I could rest all day at home Tuesday!!

I talked to my IM about driving home the day of, instead of the day after and she doesn't mind. I am thrilled though, it is so much easier to rest and relax at home! I don't have to worry about the kids and I can be comfortable in my own bed! I heart my bed!

Anyway, thats all I have for today.

I have a CALENDAR!!!!

Can we all say WOOT!!!??

I am stoked. Waiting through October was way more annoying than I though it would be. So, here is the much awaited "tentative" schedule:

10/3 - Start lupron.

10/7 - Stop BCPs.

*ultrasound and blood work.

10/24 - Lower lupron, start doxy, dex and estradiol.

10/30 - ultrasound and blood work

11/6 - tentative transfer date.

The date of transfer may be a couple days either way, but hey, we have a CALENDAR!!

**dex is short for dexamethasone, a steroid.

**doxy is short for doxycycline, an antibiotic.

**estradiol is estrogen in a thick liquid form, administered intramuscularly.

First step of many.

I am at the monitoring REs office waiting for my baseline ultrasound. All systems should be go for me to start lupron this week.

Top five things you should never say to or ask a Gestational Surrogate.

1. "What if you want to keep the baby?"

Why in the world would I want to keep a baby that is not mine and my husbands? What part of "I am doing this for someone else" is hard for you to understand? I do not, will not and cannot keep the baby.

2. "You get paid a lot for that, don't you?!"

There are many surrogates who aren't compensated, others who are just reimbursed for their expenses and others, like myself, who do receive compensation for our time being pregnant. Have you been pregnant? Its not an easy thing to do. Its a 24/7 "job" and what we receive is not even comparable to slave wages. Now, I will admit, there are surrogates who do this exclusively for the money, others who could care less and still others, like myself, who wouldn't do it just for the money and wouldn't do it for free either. And don't believe everything you hear, its not as much as you think. Besides, when is it EVER okay to ask someone about their financial situation?

3. "How could you give away your baby?"

HELLO. It is not MY baby. I am not sure where you have been the last 30 years, but there is this thing called In-Vitro Fertilization, or IVF for short. They make a baby in a petrie dish with the dads sperm and the moms egg and put it in my uterus. NOTHING in the creation of that baby is mine. If you can't understand that, go google, I have no more time to try to explain.

4. "Do you know the parents?"

Nope. They send me money and I am going to ship the baby off in a box with holes in it after its born. Seriously, think. Yes, I know the parents. I am carrying their baby. We are good friends and have been for awhile now. Would I carry a baby for someone I didn't know? NO.

5. "Your kids are going to think you gave away their sibling."

Really? You know what my children think? Wow, I thought I was their mother. What have I done without you all these years? My children understand what I am doing. Besides, they are my children, not yours. End. Of. Story.

We are ready for take off.

My estradiol has come down nicely, so we are ready to start lupron when my IM starts her cycle... which should be later this week. One month of lupron, what do you think about that? I think I may need a refill on my migraine medicine.